It's very hard. We know his time is up. Does he know? What does he know? We have to balance that fine line of knowing that he still has some enjoyment in life, and - well - fearing that he doesn't. Yesterday I was still a believer in his intrinsic toughness, his ability to keep going, his capacity to feed my own attempts at magical thinking. This morning, he seemed to have crossed over that line - not into unhappiness, but into a certain discomfort, and inwardness, and his bounce has gone. So tomorrow - ah, tomorrow. It's too sad to write.